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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Get your swirl on and date diifferent in Biograd na Moru. Are you a single man or a single woman in Biograd na Moru? Swirlr can change that! Do you think that you are the only one who .

Finally, I get the machine workin’. Thank goodness! I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my buddy Marko. He’s at the beach, sayin’ I gotta join him. I’m like, “Dude, I just fixed a machine!” But the beach? It’s hard to resist. So I wrap up and head to the beach on Ulica Kralja Zvonimira.

It’s one of Europe’s most popular destinations. Here’s how to avoid the crowds